idea book

There are three spatial dimensions, why can't there be more than one temporal dimension? Only that we're not equipped by our sense to percieve it. Read Flatland for a good metaphor about how someone who exists in more dimensions would appear to a fewer-dimesional percieving person. Each additional dimension a level of complexity.

***

another world accessible only by closing your eyes

***

A giant backdrop- Peter Max style- saying War is Good Business
Hang behind any press releases from the White House

***

immortalize

i just wanted to let everyone know that i'm having a great time- just chilling out with the rain rolling down the windows, the cool jazz playing, nowhere to go... just coming up with ideas and being creative. it's great.

i wish this moment could go on forever.

Meta-Idea

I think it was Hideo Kojima (creator of Konami's Metal Gear Solid) who gave me the idea. He said in an interview that he has a pad where he just accumulates ideas that come to him day to day. When he needs an idea for something, he looks in his 'idea book'. It's a grerat idea, because ideas you crib from the book are still yours. Sort of like editing yourself over time. So, i stole that idea, and keep such a book. I haven't been able to get to the computer lately, but in that other state more, and more often, than ever before. So, i wrote stuff down in my idea book.

And so, finally, stuff from over the holiday...

the jerry springer show is human cockfighting

hi i'm back. school is out. i feel like i've had a lot of good ideas lately, been real fertile creatively. Maybe it's the cold, the stress, the drugs, but just maybe i feel a little closer to the truth.

***

isn't it human's duty to have peak experiences?

if i was the president...

i'd have a big computer simulation running all the time. It'd be a map of the U.S. with overlays of all systems that you, as the leader of the most pwerful country in the freee world, would have access to. Monitors of everything- tax rates, crime indexes, economic health, unemployment rates- would be superimposed over the map, and it would be a real-time view of the country's health as a whole.

it would be called the 'Big Board One'

almost there...

stay on target...
I can't shake him!
Stay on target...

the legendary power of the Al-Nyte-er

well, i'm here to tell you it ain't what it used to be. It's kind of funny- this mihgt just be my school, except that.. it was the same at the other school i went to too. Also an art school. It's kind of considered like a badge of honor. 'I pulled an all nighter last night." Bravely. When really, i think it's kind of lame, actually. It means you didn't budget your time right. It shouldn't come to that, where you have to pull an all nighter to get by, you fucked up somehow. That's my opinion.

That said, i pulled an all nighter last night. I was going to write journal entries and see if i could track my mind's deterioration hour by hour. But Blogger wasn't working. Oh well, i'll tell you what i learned. first of all, i'm not the same as i used to be. Maybe i'm just too used to sleep that i can't go without it any more. Also i've really learned to love sleep. i'ts great. Sensual enjoyment like taking a bath or eating. Stuff that feels good.

To get back to the subject, i just can't go without sleep like i used to. Last night was the first time i've had to do that this session at school. I mean ever. Since coming to this school.

The other thing i learned was to not fuck around so much on projects and- this is the thing- get them to a state of done-ness, or turn-in-able-ness as soon as possible. After that, any extra time you can spare will just make it better. i don't know if i'm jsut discovering stuff everyone but me knew. Time budgeting stuff.

Which reminds me- i'm basically wasting time here because i don't want to study. Now that i've realized that i'm just procrastinating, the jig is up. so i gotta go work on stuff now.

jazz music plays in my dreams

i'm assaulted by memories actually. i keep remembering other days like this, the sky all overcast. i think it kinda allows you to take stock of memory, sort of shuffle it around so it balances out, settles. Can't stop remembering. But it's pleasant.

ass-kissing culture pumps

ive been sick.

it's hard to even compose words when sick, typing into a keyboard seemed like an impossible chore. i just wanted to say one thing in favor of medical mar i juana. Almost as good as the major brand, the green liquid. An excellent multi-symptom cold reliever.

I believe it also stimulates memories. i was just thinking about what was the earliest memory i could remember. And the funny thing was, it was a later memmory than the previous 'oldest memory i could remember'. i felt like my rememberable 'event horizon was receding.

Well, i kind of feel like i've been learning a lot this past year, maybe it's pushing some older stuff out. It's not such a weird thing really, your brain has a limited amount of space. Finite.

Funny, sometimes it makes you forget, and sometimes it makes you remember. It's definitely connected to memory in some way. The same brain chemical.

short cuts

Artificial Horizon
***
A few freaks can and do define this culture.
***
Why isn't there a vocabulary for taste? How many words do we have for tastes? You'll notice they're all borrowed from toher senses. How many colors are there? aren't there at least as many tastes?

hey, i just figured out why we have lint in out bellybuttons!

It's because all the hairs on your chest trap dust and push it towards your navel, forming it into lint. Hairs automatically send things up their shafts because theyre rough on a microscopic level and all in one direction, so they function like a ratchet, things go up but they don't go down. And here's the most elegant part, stuff ends up in your navel because all hairs grow towards the navel. Neat.

This (that's taking so long to tell) came to me in a flash of insight.


wow, talk about navel-gazing.

Sometimes i teach myself things.

The worst thing is not doing a lot of work, spending a lot of stress worrying about a project is not turning it in, not needing to because you got the due date wrong or something?

Let me try to explain this: Have you ever busted your ass to get a project done, then, by some twist of fate, not have to turn it in, get given more time to work on it? That's happened to me twice this week. Three times, actually. No. Four. All the projects i was worried about, i got reprieves on. Isn't that weird? And isn't it worse, somehow? Like, getting it over with is a virtue, isn't it? At least it's over. Whereas to get a reprieve, is to still have it hanging over your head. Isn't that worse? Or is it just me?

And... and... i was hoping to be 'finished' by thursday this week. Cause i'm doing something.

***
Sometimes i teach myself things.

the most efficient slacking off of all

i know i said i wouldn't, but i'm back.Taking a little de-streeess.

One of the interesting things about this state of mind (that i'm in) is that you begin to use it to make your chill-out time. recreational time, whateve you want to call it- to make that time more efficient.

You know why. Those who have experienced it know what i'm talking about.

And so what you get is more efficient slacking off. Isn't that cool?

i want a little house in the forest, on the edge of all civilization.

i feel real busy. i've got a lot of stuff hanging over my head. School is winding down, so i'm gonna be busy till the holidays. And then theres the holidays.

i feel so stressed that i begrudge any time not spent working on my projects as a waste of time and feel guilty because of it. I know it's my attitude that's the problem, but...

That's why this one is short. gotta get back. Right now i'm doing a portrait of Raymond Loewy. Painted. due wednesday. i have to stop workingon that soon because i have to do a 10-minute oral report on Thomas Aquinas for my Tuesday morning class, and then a visual comparison of Verner Panton's works, due tue evening. gulp. i wish the me of the future could send the finished work back into the past to the me of now.

What i really want is to be left alone. i want a little house in the forest, on the edge of all civilization. i just don't know how to get there. How do i get there?

i feel like i might say "hey hey" and i was thinking about a robot.

Music reviews by kindergarteners

pure poetry.

i've figured out religion

it's really not about whether you worship one god or many gods, or about what happens after you die.

It's about words.

Whether you believe that words are the most important thing- "in the beginning there was the Word" Or whether words and logic are a trick, a puzzle, like Zen Buddhism believes. That's a fundamental conflict of religion that i don't think has been explored before.

Zen koans don't make any sense because that's the point. The point is that words are flawed. Language is a trick. It's supposed to get you to realize language is an inadequate system for describing the world.

i know- i'm using words. Words still can have value as a pointer, a reference to experiences.

i feel like a teenager. i know everything. i'm completely sober.

Depicto! the mag,nificent!

been going there a lot lately.you make it a prt of your life, isn't that how it is? integrate it into yoyur life?

"A gripping tale of addiction! Film at 11!"

right?

i'm in the milk and the milk's in me

Well, i did it. I was a little disappointed, to tell you the truth. I was expecting more. More visuals, possibly hallucinations. I was really looking forward to the hallucinations. I consider myself a visual person, and so i was kind of curious to see what visions my subconscious could throw out, without filtering through the censorship of the conscious. Do you iunderstand? Anyway, that was kind of what i was expecting. Whether that's what really happens or not, that was what i was expecting.

I did notice at one point that my friend's head began to move strangely as he was talking. Kind of a rubbery oscillating wobble. It went away when i tried to concentrate on what he was saying instead of what his head was doing. I think, though, that that wsa one of those situations where you realize (or notice) all the strange, unconscious gestures that people make as they talk. Do you ever do that? So, it was less a hallucination than a realization, a noticing. Noticing what was already there rather than hallucinating from your mind.

We might not have taken enough. It varies widely and my friend wasn't sure of the dose system the people who gave it to him were using. Lots of variables. So we're probably going to do it again. Larger dose this time. Set and Setting. We'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted.

other mes

One's a director.
One's a football player.
One's an author.
What am i? Nothing i can really sum up in one word. Maybe nothing.

Thank you: Django Reinhardt for playing paris blues way back then so i could hear it today. i needed that.

try this

Do a search for your own name on Google. See how many of you there are on the web. There's about three of me. One is a mini-racecar driver. One is a 'fantasy artist'. One is me.

I do this every once in awhile to check up on the other mes. The fantasy artist has updated his website. He's takin g life drawing classes now, thank god.

Someplace Else

sorry, little weblog, i've been unfaithful to you. I decided to make another weblog for an assignment in color class. It was kind of neat. You can see it here:

one off-color day

Jehosaphat.

jehosaphat jehosaphat jehosaphat.

"fun that makes sense"

Religion is just like art in this way: It can be defined as anything that people do (or make) that's not directly related to survival.
...

Wouldn't it be better if religion were helpful. Useful stuff like gardening, tilling, harvesting would be rituals. If that religious impulse in people could be used to create wealth and help people live instead of diverting resources into dead storage (icons, cathedrals, golden calves, etc.)

apologies to Theodore Geisel

Ad-man, silly Ad-man, you don't know what it means

You think you can sell us back our hopes and our dreams

What you don't understand, and never bothered to look,

is that magic's not hoarded inside of a book

It's in the imagination- yours, mine, and his

and the minds and the mouths of a million kids


'The magic of childhood is re-born as one of Dr. Seuss' best-loved characters comes to life!'

one hundred? two hundred??

what would it be worth to you to realize that the happiest place and time in the world might just be right here, right now?

i forgot to mention

Does it seem to anyone else that things are speeding up, getting worse, or somehow coming to a climax lateely? or is it just me and _all_ my acquianintances?

oops

because it's finals week. i'm so stressed i haven't got time to get unstressesd. anyway, not much mentaal exploration for now but let me leave you with thise: i've never tried any kind of psychedelics before. But i'm going to soon. Don't really know when, as my friend (who has it) has also been so busy lateely that we haven't had time to set up a 'set ans setting' like you're supposed to. You know.

So, once we get it all together, hopefully i'll have something interesting to tell you. A different kind of (flavor) of mental exploration. I'll be looking forward to it.

But for now, i've got a paper due friday.

not a long one today

Live. Or create art. Pick one.

You can either have an experience or write about it. You can't do both. Deciding to write (this goes for art, too), thinking about what you're going to write, the physical act of writing, these things all changes the experience you're having.. into one you're recording. For posterity. And it's just not the same as if you'd thrwn your whole attention into the experience, instead of writing it down.

It's like Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.

So- that means you have to either remember well, or choose.

i been robbed

really. The fuckers took my video game systems. could've been a lot worse i guess. could've taken my computer, on which a lot of work is stored. What really bugs me is that people with malevolent intentions were in my room.

in my room.

fuckers.

So. There won't be any imagination-exploring for awhile, as i gotta get rid of the Elixir. If i'm gonna bring cops into the house and show them what was stolen, that is.

What i hate is when you think you got things under control, something comes in from outside and makes you change. And then you feel like a kid again, just powerless and subject to the arbitrary whims of mysterious big people. The bad part of being a kid. Remember that? i do.

Some Christian Likes you

eek.

so hey been awhile. Been busy. Nice to be back, even for a little while.

Lot of stuff to do lately. I'ts kind of hard tp be creative when you've got so many things to think about. pressing on yoyur attention. So i enjoy these times. it's like forgetting. it's nice to forget, sometimes.

Feels like everything is gonna be all right.

lotta stuff to think about but if i concentrate i can do everything i need to do. put everything in its right order and then just do what has to be done. what's right. okay,i'm rambling now.

oh yeah. arnold schvartzenegger is our governor. surreal, huh?

Glucose on a biscuit

okay so hwere it is

it's very creative sometimes. the quality of the experience i mean. Generative. generative creatively, generative in a making something way. do you understand?

Like now.

an observation from the normal state

one thing i've noticed is that there seems to be a pulse to the experience. A sort of rhythm. i see it in terms of opposites. Like an oscillation between two poles. I'll get a crashing wave of happiness, a sense that all's right with the world and things are going great, and then a little later that certain sinking feeling will come up. And it goes on like that, from one to the other, for the duration of the experience. i remember this happening from the very first times i did it. It's more noticeable if i'm alone. Then i can concentrate more on my inner mental state. Other people are a distraction. Other people are more fun, though. The nature of the experience depends on your surroundings. Set and setting, as they say.

Maybe this is something specific to me, but you know, this journal is about me and trying to make sense of my experiences of different mental states.

its funny,

this time it just clicked off like a switch. All of a sudden, i thought 'well, better get to doing What I Have To Do'. And i'm into the post-prandial grogginess.

funny.

okay it's realtime now

what was it? t almost slipped my mind.
oh yeah

I think of it as kind of like a mental lubricant.

See, i gotta come up with something for a school project. i have no idea what to do! What'll i do? Oh, it's gotta be a performance art piece. Performance art. What'll i do?!

myabe ill think of something.....

oh! i haven't even installed Flash. i got it last week and i havnet even loaded up my old movuie! so much to do...

and so he did

Okay, it's been awhile. Weblog.Yeah.

Guerre de los Sexos!

***
I totally understand how the system perpetuates itself, man! See, the system requires fear of violence so people will crave the safety of authority, man? so how those in charge, it's in their best interests to let the people be bullied, be intimidated, so that they will grow up afraid. So they'll feel authority is necessary once theyve grown up. That's how thwe system works, man. Whaddaya think??

tendrils of causality

i feel the tendrils of causality speeding back ansd forth through time. All the potentialselves, and all the ones that are no more. feeling all outcomes, all outcomes all outcomes at once. before you know it, there you are.

Caribou Strewn equals Picabo Sttreet.

Sluggabooty!
Sluggabooty!
Sluggabooty!

the importance of the chewy and sweet

We underestimate the importance of the chewy and sweet sometimes in out all-out search for the crunchy, the savory, the salty, the melting-cheese-y. MMMmm imamking myself hungry. Remnenmber, the chewy and dweest.

I find my tounge swelling, my mind expanding...my spit getting larger in my mouthr. it's all bunched up in there.What images should imake? Wow.

im communicating across time, back therough the years to when my father knew this, and his father. Are there people in teh world who have never done this? to ggggggo through your entiere life without doingit, it's like going to your grave withouhgt having had sex. It;s like you didn't get it, you didn't get the poit...of it all.

wow

always remember to save

remenmber to save. press the save button at the top of the document window. god i hate working in offices. its so un-real, everything has to be trucked in, the air, thje water, everythinsg. pPeople come in, product comes out. that's a good one. remenber that and look at it when im'm not stoned and tell me if that makes sense.

It's like i'm talking to another person but the person is ame another me. We're having a conversation.
It's amazing....

So i'm glad im not in an office anymore. there, that dates this document.

it's like i'm communicating with myself.

i can't even work a website.

but... damn! phone.

my life seems so comlplicated, it seems like it belongs to someone else. maybe that's the good part is getting away. maybe.

wow.

it's like...

rediscoverring everthing anew for the very f1rst time...the frequency of everyday actions, the alienness of it...the order of it, the million decisions-in-a-second-type-of -feekling.00


wow

its good
you see how complicated things are like thise, even the little thinngks are filled with- attributes, i guess. it seemds like another voice talking but it's really just a voice inside of yoiu. youcanssee the real you-ness of it. it's you.

ihear sounds so acutely.So full of love, so full of pleasure.

Oom oom pitt
tupittapittu

Oom oom pitt
Tup tapittapittu

"the funky drummer"

rhythm

Knutman Congra Bangs, Knutman Congra Bangs,
Knutman
Knut
Knut
Knutman, Knutman Congra Bangs.


Why is that soweird? But it is.

resonance

Resonence. RESONENCE. It's that important. It's the foundation of all things.
Everytime i do this it grips me like that arm of a skateboard. This fiendish resonance. Clear? Get it? Like food, like need, like the naked hormonal desire to do... whatever you can get away with.
Let's talk aabout need.

when have we enabled

When have we enabled the speed of thought? When do we use it? I want to feel everythink. I'm thirsty, greedy for sensation, stimulus for teh brain, not really for my body. I think the brain is moving so fast, spinning inplace like a car revving its engine in neutral. I think that uses uip so many calories that you get hungry. For food I mean. I'm hungry for sensation. My senses crave what they're programmed to get. It's as naturalsas can be. I wan t it. let's go do it.
hungry for sensation
hungrey.

What this realization means

What this realization means is that we can finally be free. Free from intolerance, free from... religion. We don't have to think about another life-and throw away this one.I don't tknow what hits me more- the sign of the fututre or the mark of the re-enablement of .....Mephisto. What that means, and the saying of that word means is... ultimately... nothing.When we finally know what we know and all there is to know, then, what will there be? To send a message is not to be the message. You are the message. Which means you are the meduim, because you are that too. A neat equation equals out. Formula.
This is taking forever to type out in just one minute. But it's taking forever.
Meat particles, i've decided is going to be the theme to ty this whole thing togethter. Meat particles is what I'm thinking but It'll be hard to translate this into meat participles. Haha.

Oldest come first. ill let you know when it's now.

Realize that we are a slumgullion of meat particles, an aerial circus of pirouetting, pinwheeling p-p-particles that make up the human body as we know it.The fact that I realized that fact makess it cleatr that we arrent what we tormally take ourselves to be.
The meat particles
the meat particcles.

meat particles

here we go.

So here it is. A new thing. Don't know if anything will come of it but here we go anyway.