the floor is hissing at me.

The grain in the hardwood floor looks like S's. I read the floor peripherally as i pass by. The floor is hissing at me.

Actively choose what you'll passively watch.

A toy you remember from your childhood

Turns out there's a deluxe model that only children with rich parents got. It has more. More of everything.
More laser turrets, more secret doors, more more more.

Thanks Internet!

The Bloated Interlocutor

Success

It's an attitude not a platitude.

Dickens Faire? No, chicken Stare!

The internet is comforting because

Someone has had your problem before. And you can google it. 

Unknown Armies quote

"I am an upstanding member of the community, even if I am invisible"

Poop is True

Feeling Texture Intensely

Maybe should be "seeing texture intensely"

First hit on Google

You know you've arrived bitches.